Author, Speaker, James C. Tanner

By James C. Tanner

In the face of great tragedy; in the face of great hardship; in the face of
great temptation, there remains one thing…the core values we hold onto.

Each and every one of us is the product of our past experience and
influences. We are all shaped by social economic environment of our
upbringing.

We live in a sad day and age where many of the things we once revered
in society have tarnished and fallen from positions of integrity. We live in a
world where our legal system is constantly stymied with stories of less
than stellar police officers. We live in a day and age where our religious
system has lost it's believability as a result of church leaders who've
been caught embracing criminal or professional mis-conduct. Yesterday's
headlines reported news of a Gay Prostitution Ring operating within the
walls of the Vatican. A couple of weeks ago it was Baptist Missionaries
charged with kidnapping. Images of the Baptist Minister Jim Jones and his
late 1970's mass suicide of 700 followers flashed across the TV screen
three nights ago. Our political leaders openly admit, irregardless of party
lines,the vast majority of constituents have lost faith in politicians.
Authority figures across varying lines are failing to provide an example to
which people want to aspire to, becoming figures of disdain, and
dis-trust. Today, our society hungers for great leaders at all levels, when
the best we can come up with is a leadership vacuum. Society's
leadership bar has been set so low that few people have to reach up to
grab hold of it.

In the face of uncertainty where do we turn to find a foundation stone of core values steady enough to stand upon? We stand firm on what we know as individuals to be right,
irregardless of the outside opinion or pressure. We stand firm, and dare I quote the cliché, "come Hell or high water".
Core values are the philosophies that guide our internal conduct, as well as our conduct in external relationships throughout our day to day exposure to the world. Core values will
always look different from one individual to another.

The core values or philosophies I live by are best stated in the form of five simple rules. Those rules simply stated are:

1. I will remain true to who I am no matter the outside opinion or influence.
2. I will never ask anything of any person that I am not willing to try and do myself.
3. I will not bend my knee to any man or woman, save but my God and Queen.
4. To be in my circle of influence, loyalty is not optional. It's healthier to hear the words of one loyal person than to establish a direction based on the useless chatter of sometimes
loyal acquaintances.
5. Whoa, to any family member, good friend, or perfect stranger who comes between myself and a good woman. This is in my books is, as the religious community states it, "the
unforgivable sin", and I will end all ties with a person who violates this rule.

Core values are personal. It makes perfect sense to realize that not all, perhaps not many, and quite possibly only you as an individual will understand your own core values.
When we lose sight of our life direction and deviate from our inner beliefs, core values call us back to who we truly are.

The price we pay to hold onto our core values can often be great, and filled with deep personal heart break, but we hold onto truth, what we know to be right.

Some years ago, my own core values came under great testing by church leaders and the church community I was a part of at the time. Coming out of a messy marriage failure, during
a Church coffee hour, I met the most incredible woman a man could ever set eyes on. If you can imagine how special the wind would feel if an angel were to glance by, gracing you
with it's presence. Then you could appreciate the greatness of this lady. To this day I can remember when my eyes gazed into the eyes of this incredibly beautiful "angel". In an instant,
as our eyes locked upon each other, I fell head over heels in love with her. Until that moment, I never believed in love at first sight…until that moment.

Religion being what it is, and religious people as well as religious institutions having great difficulty in accepting the reality of divorce, it was quietly determined by my religious
community without my consent or prior knowledge that, in their opinion, I had to re-unite with my ex-wife. I remember the shock when my Christian and Missionary Alliance Minister
pulled me aside and said, "We don't care how long it takes, be it seven or eleven years, we will do whatever we think is necessary to keep you single and available to re-unite with
your ex." The toxic church leadership and community launched into a season of damaging character assassination, literally destroying any hope of my dating.

Much can be written about the arrogance of man when he uses the disguise of religion to hide his meddling ways. Core values help us know within ourself when the words we hear
from leaders and religion are healthy words of direction, or words of oppression.

With core values heavily violated by church leaders, and the religious community, I walked away from the church and my faith. It had become clear, that my inner philosophies were not
in line with the philosophies of this particular religious community. As I watched these once revered people sacrifice every ounce of their own spiritual integrity and believability to
accomplish their task, I began to realize how empty the words and teachings of these people really were. Soiled and cheapened by their own conduct, the value of their proclaimed
spiritual message and faith quickly dissolved.

Core values are foundation stones upon which we build our lives. They help us determine what influences are good for us and which influences are not. Core values tell us when we
should listen and when we should move on. The foundation stones of our beliefs help us determine when we are being abused, taken advantage of, or cheated.

Core values guide us through the insane maze this world can often throw at us. In my own situation, my inner philosophies could never value the words and directions of those
members of the religious community who walked through life paying only lip service to their belief system. It's better to value the words of one who has stood firm and alone in the face
of a storm, for I would rather surround myself in the aroma of their wisdom before enveloping myself in the empty words of those who simply play "the game" wavering in every
breeze created when society breaks wind.

Holding to core values can be extremely painful and filled with gut wrenching heartache. There comes a time when one must choose what they will, and will not take a stand for in life.
There's no point in taking a stand on an issue unless you're willing to stand alone, and at all cost. When I think back to that Church coffee hour some years ago I shake my head.
"Angels", figuratively speaking, don't fly by very often. So far, in my lifetime, there has only been one. No one has ever come close to comparing to her. I can't think of a better reason
than her, to take a stand-a stand which has cost me greatly, but I'd do it again tomorrow, without hesitation.

A couple of years ago, while spending time in a hospital emergency ward due to what my doctor feared was a mild heart attack, I found myself looking back on my years. Hollywood
has made the concept of a bucket list (things to do before we "kick the bucket") common amongst those facing an "end of life" crisis. Not knowing my own outcome, I began to ponder
the contents of my potential bucket list. In the bottom of my bucket list was only one regret and one wish. The regret that I didn't get to spend more time with this one special lady, and
my wish that perhaps I would be blessed with the chance to see her one more time and spend just a few moments sitting someplace quiet, talking to that one "Angel" from years ago.

In the face of great tragedy; in the face of great hardship; in the face of great temptation, there remains one thing…the core values we hold onto, come Hell or high water.